18 September 2010

Letter from Lhasa, number 180. (Leibling 2009): Working with the Enemy

Letter from Lhasa, number 180. (Leibling 2009): Working with the Enemy

by Roberto Abraham Scaruffi

Leibling, M., Working with the Enemy. How to Survive and Thrive with Really Difficult People, Kogan Page, 2009.

(Leibling 2009).

Mike Leibling

These are the first sentences of this book:

All of us manage to get on with most people in most situations most of the time, and so this book is about the really difficult people and situations that we encounter.

“Of course, every situation is different, but there are some really common patterns that emerge (or explode) time and time again. And over the years I and my clients have recognized that it’s relatively simple and painless to disarm an ‘enemy’ using these patterns, rather than – exhaustingly – to have to deal with each situation every time it arises.

(Leibling 2009, p. xii).

The starting point in managing any situation is to manage ‘me’ first, before attempting to manage anything or anyone else.

(Leibling 2009, p. 5).

‘Life is lived forwards but understood backwards.’

Søren Kierkegaard

(Leibling 2009, p. 126).

‘…the detectives…don’t seem at all able to see the solution’ said Staines. ‘It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem,’ said Father Brown.

(from The Point of a Pin, by G K Chesterton).

(Leibling 2009, p. 126).

You’ll find here a wide range of tactics and strategies.

Anyway, [1] free yourself from whatever negative feeling and behaviour, [2] be resilient relatively to the external world, [3] use everything and everybody for your self-perfection, [4] make everything public (criminals and insane people fear publicity!), [5] strike hard, fast, pitiless and without witnesses and traces, but with a kind and lovely spirit ...relatively to yourself, ...better: [6] do not do anything apart from facilitating the badness’ self-destruction. When the badness will be annihilated, it will be the will of God, and you will have been only a God’s instrument.

Ah, and not forget: more people and institutions are aggressive, more they are idiotic, slow and believe whatever deceptive message they catch. Play with them! Play them! Help them to self-destroy themselves!

Leibling, M., Working with the Enemy. How to Survive and Thrive with Really Difficult People, Kogan Page, 2009.